Some comic-related reviews

by Christopher Jones

Kingdom Come Five out of Five Beakers

Kingdom Come

DC Comics Miniseries - Available as Trade Paperback

This groundbreaking mini-series would be worth seeking out for the stunning Alex Ross artwork alone. Alex Ross first exploded onto the comics scene with the mini-series Marvels for Marvel comics, and has since gone on to be a fan-favorite artist and the most in-demand cover artist in the industry. His ability to make superheroes and their world look photographically real while retaining a larger-than-life sensibility is unparalleled.

The story by Alex Ross and writer Mark Waid is set in a future where Superman has been motivated to retire by a personal tragedy, and the ongoing battles between superheroes and supervillains are more resembling rival gang wars than a struggle between good and evil. Batman, Wonder Woman and other heroes are still around, but find themselves in different roles in this brave new world.

The conclusion of Kingdom Come is both epic and intimate, as the fate of the world comes down to a moral choice made by the one mortal qualified to make it. If you have every enjoyed comics or just like a powerful adventure story, Kingdom Come is not to be missed.

The Nail

DC Comics Miniseries - Available as Trade Paperback

The Nail Four out of Five Beakers

A few years ago DC Comics started to do what are called "Elseworlds" stories. These are mini-series or graphic novels that take DC Comics characters and present them in some form of altered reality. An Elseworlds story might be set in the future or past, or might take place in a world with a vastly different social or political climate than the normal DC Universe.

The Nail takes the approach of a divergent reality. Almost 30 years ago, a flat tire prevents Jonathan and Martha Kent from driving into town from their farm on the day when they would have found the rocket carrying baby Kal-El from Krypton. Flash forward to the present: A world without Superman. Lex Luthor has just been re-elected Mayor of Metropolis, and runs it like a police state. The Justice League and other superheroes still exist, but they find themselves increasingly distrusted by the public, and the victims of a conspiracy that may have an alien origin...

The Nail is written and drawn by Alan Davis, who has long been a fan-favorite for his work on Excalibur, Captain Britain, and many other titles for both DC and Marvel Comics. The artwork in the Nail is his finest effort yet, and his story stems from a compelling premise and features many entertaining twists and turns. I found the ending a little unsatisfying, which is the only thing that for me drags the nail down from a rating of 5 to a solid 4.

Batman and Robin

Motion Picture

I can't even tell what director Joel Shoemaker was going for. Was it meant to be camp, like the '60's Batman series with Adam West? If it was, someone should tell him that camp should be funny.

Batman and Robin is just plain bad. I frequently site it as my least favorite film of all time. And not just because I'm a Batman fan and it's a bad Batman movie. It's a truly horrible MOVIE on all counts. Every time you think it's hit a new low, it gets worse.

BAD DIRECTING: The movie isn't funny. It isn't dramatic. The performances are flat. And it looks like a bad Las Vegas stage show.

BAD WRITING: This is the movie that cemented Akiva Goldsman's place as the winner of my personal WORST SCREENWRITER OF THE '90's AWARD. Horrible.

BATMAN: George Clooney COULD make a GREAT Batman, I'm convinced. But in this movie he is glib and has not intensity in either dual identity. And his Batman has been reduced from the frightening creature of the night of the comics and first film to a buffoon doing charity appearances. This is more the fault of the writer and director than Clooney.

ROBIN: What a whiny jerk! Get over yourself.

BATGIRL: Instead of the resourceful daughter of Commissioner Gordon, the movie gives us the arrogant, thieving, lying bad-girl niece of Alfred, who we are supposed to root for as Batgirl.

MR. FREEZE: The movie steals the origin and back story of the brilliant Batman: The Animated Series interpretation of Freeze, then transforms him from a tragic figure into a buffoon in polar bear slippers who leads sing-alongs and speaks in a never-ending stream of cold-themed one-liner puns. Scwarzenegger is horribly miscast as Victor Fries.

POISON IVY: Uma Thurman starts out playing a caricature nerd as ridiculous as Jim Carrey's Edward Nygma from Batman Forever, then is ludicrously transformed into Poison Ivy and spends the rest of the movie doing a bad Mae West impersonation.

BANE: The criminal mastermind of the comics becomes a grunting, green thug, because this movie desperately needed even MORE villains.

WORST MOMENTS:

Batman and Robin appear as guests at a misogynistic woman-auctioning charity event, and start a bidding war over Poison Ivy when she crashes the proceedings. Batman pulls out a credit card (to a cha-ching sound effect!) that is actually in Batman's name, with an expiration date of "Forever".

"It's the hockey team from hell!" Batman and Robin stand back to back, decoratively swishing their capes as Freeze's hockey-geared goons skate around them. The dynamic duo impossibly pop 2-inch ice-skate blades out of the bottoms of their boots to take on the goons.

Batman and Robin survive an explosion in the sky high over Gotham, then sky surf to safety on doors from the exploded craft. A visually confusing and totally implausible sequence in this extreme-sport-obsessed movie.

Mr. Freeze leads his henchmen in a sing-along.

There are so many, many more, but this review is long enough as is!

A FINAL NOTE:

I actually have a copy of this movie on tape, recorded off of cable. I tell all my friends that if they ever feel the desire to watch this piece of cinematic doggie-doo out of a sense of perverse curiosity, they should borrow my copy rather than rent it and put even one more dime into Warner Brothers pockets from this travesty.