The MISFITS Worst Movies of 1999:

And tied for worst movie of the year, with three votes apiece (drum roll please):

Our apologies to Kevin Kline and our wishes 2000 will be a better year.

Tim Wick's Worst Film of 1999

The runners up, Entrapment, Wild Wild West and Dick all had good reasons why they should be chosen, but nothing could overshadow the disaster that was:

A Midsummer Nights Dream - This cinematic mistake has to rank as the most disappointing movie I have ever seen. I love the original play (I was even in it in college). It is one of the finest comic works ever writtin. The movie, while having the same text as any number of fine stage productions, lacks the spirit. For some reason, the director uses silent scenes to turn Thomas Bottom into a tragic character when he is nothing but an egotistical buffoon! The whole movie is on a forest "set" that looks worse than a stage set. They use bicycles as an image of - something - for - some reason I don't understand. Helena and Hermia are supposed to be different heights, but they are not. Then in the scene where they are hurling (usually) hilarious insults about each others height, the "short" one is shot from a low camera angle and the "tall" one is shot from a high camera angle which means the audience loses all meaning.

If you want your kids to appreciate Shakespeare, don't take them to this movie. Take them to Ten Things I Hate About You, an adaption of "The Taming of the Shrew" that has little to do with the source material, but is still closer than this pile of garbage. And that movie is actually funny.

Erin Lorenz' Worst Film of 1999

Eyes Wide Shut

This had to be one of the most highly touted "rip offs" as a film for the year 1999. It's sad to think that Stanley Kubrick went out on such a "blat"- "raspberry" of a film.

I felt that this film's box office showing results did make 3 major statements that maybe someday Hollywood will look at...but I rather doubt it knowing Hollywood:

1) Having Tom Cruise in a film does NOT mean that it will be an instant success. There are more and more people these days that are expecting him to be able to do something called "acting".....something that he is sadly unable to do most of the time (he seems to think that ??being a STAR means he can act??)

2) Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman in a film together seems to guarantee that the film will not be very good. Have any doubts? Watch Days of Thunder.

3) The movie was about Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman acting together in a "sexual context" - BIG DEAL- so what else is new, since that's all they seem to know how to do to relate to each other as actors. Poor Plot - bad acting - even the Porn was done poorly (and THAT is VERY HARD TO DO!! *chuckle - but trust Tom and Nicole to find a way to do it:)......The movie was essentially a vehicle for Tom and Nicole's acting - which means there was none. It's too bad Kubrick had to end on this note. But then, maybe it's a good thing that he's NOT alive to hear the critiques - yes??

Mike Lee's worst film of 1999

Wing Commander.

Starship Troopers at least was enjoyable!

George Richard's worst film of 1999

As far as worst of the year...I considered Phantom for the disappointment factor but all in all it didn't really suck, Mystery Men and Lake Placid were in the early running but bumped because of the Camp factor. Even BW and South Park had some redeeming social value and the big battle flic's 13th Warrior and The Messenger delivered their gore (Seen the Gladiator preview) so they didn't disappoint to much. But for Down and bloody, no redeeming social value, no great camerawork, crappy SFX and coming as the sequel of an already rotten movie. I give you the Straight to video with one quick stop in the VCR then straight to the trash

From Dusk to Dawn 2 (Texas Blood Money) GAWD!! IT's AWFULL!! I was wishing that everyone would die immediately then when the sun starts to come out horror of horrors and eclipse!! I assume they all die, I had to turn it off, I Want my $2.00 back!

Jeremy Stomberg's worst film of 1999

Bicentennial Man

Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. A nice Isaac Asimov short story turned into an overlong, sickeningly sweet snoozer of a film. This plot had more holes than the Monitor AND the Merrimack - Robots that kill, after the overblown presentation of the Three Laws of Robotics; the fact that robots would be "in every home", but only seeing four working ones through the entire 200 years of the film...Ugh. I want my $4.50 back, but more importantly, I want my two hours back.

Windy Merrill's worst film of 1999

While A Midsummer Night's Dream offended me on numerous levels - actress, director, set design, costumer, poet (I personally would like to bitch slap the director for managing to make UNfunny one of the best comedies ever written)...

My choice for Movie I Most Ranted Against: Wild Wild West When the only entertaining thing about a movie is the racial/cripple slurs, you know something has gone horribly wrong. No plot, no characters, no acting. Just a giant erector-set spider. Oh whoopee. Even worse, I love Kevin Kline and Will Smith. Given that Kevin Kline was in the two movies that I most actively hated this year - I'm beginning to wonder if he's been taken over by an alien race.

Ishmael Williams worst film of 1999

Message in a Bottle

There comes a time when the blatant manipulation of the emotions is too predictable, and the story is too obvious where it's going to end up. Such a movie is this one. Kevin Costner stars as a man who writes a letter to his dead wife, seals it in a bottle and sets the bottle adrift. Eventually, it ends up in the hands of a reporter, who decides to do a piece on this hopeless romantic. She sets out to find him, and you can probably write the script and the story from there. I wanted to like this film because when he's doing a modern day piece, Costner does real well (my personal exception is Robin Hood, which i did like). But it was too sweet, too predictable, and too obvious where it would end up. Paul Neuman is a treat in this one, though, in an excellent supporting role.

Chris Jones' worst film of 1999

I didn't see Wild Wild Waste (although if I had, I suspect it would receive this dishonor), but my pick for the worst movie I personally saw made in 1999 would have to go to:

A Midsummer Night's Dream

Um, hello? This was supposed to be a comedy? A romp? It wasn't funny! It was dull! Every time there was a lengthy sequence without dialog covered by music, the score seemed to be saying "THIS SCENE NOT INTENDED BY THE AUTHOR". It wasn't funny. It wasn't romantic. It was just a lot of glitter and bicycles and a waste of Kevin Kline. In spite of this, Midsummer was almost edged out of my bottom slot by the lingering, year-old stink of 1998's Godzilla. Phew!

Pat Wick's worst film of 1999

Without a doubt it is...

A Midsummer Nights Dream