Adam Sandler's Eight Crazy Nights Review
by Tim Wick
And now I will answer ten questions about Eight Crazy Nights
So you actually went to see Eight Crazy Nights?
Yeah.
You paid for it?
*sigh* Yeah.
Why?
Sometimes we are a slave to our obsessions. I was in the mood for a movie but on a tight time schedule. The theater I could attend was only showing one movie that fit into my schedule. I could have decided that I would simply do something else but I had it in my head that I needed to see a movie that afternoon. So I forked over my money and went. I'm not trying to pretend it was a good reason.
So how was it?
Worse than you can possibly imagine. The animation is awful. The main character is a jerk. The character you are supposed to like is portrayed as a buffoon and, idiot and sexual deviant. The songs are painful. We are supposed to be amused when a character is locked in a porta potty and rolled down a hill then sprayed with water so he becomes a frozen "poopsicle" and is then saved by deer who lick him free and smile with stained teeth. If that last sentence made you laugh - this movie is for you.
Hey, I'm a big Adam Sandler fan - won't I like this movie?
Well that depends. If you love all of Sandler's films with an affection that borders on insanity, there is an outside chance you'll like this one too. If, however, you have more than one brain cell I would guess that you won't find much to enjoy in this train wreck.
Well you obviously don't like Adam Sandler so why should I listen to you?
Well I certainly think that Mr. Sandler has spent a great deal of the last several years making the same movie over and over again. I do, however, like a few of his films. I think The Wedding Singer is charming and laughed out loud at Happy Gilmore. In my opinion, Punch Drunk Love is one of the best films of the year. But this movie strips away all of Sandler's likeability and portrays him as a cruel, angry jerk. He may come around by the end of the movie but the fact is by that point you will probably hate him so much you will no longer care.
So you really went to this movie by choice?
Yeah.
At what point do you think you knew the film would stink?
About five minutes into the film, Sandler's character is arrested for being a world class jerk. He is taken to court where he is told that he has run out of chances and he's going to prison. A short, squeaky voiced guy talks the judge into having Sandler help referee youth basketball. Somehow, the judge decides that he'll do that instead of send Sandler away to prison for ten years. Willful suspension of disbelief had departed at that point and I settled into checking my watch every ten minutes or so.
So are you saying this is the worst film of the year?
It is really bad but I still have to give that distinction to Rollerball. I can tell you it was a photo finish.
So let me get this straight - you paid full matinee price to watch this movie that you knew was ranked 12% on Rotten Tomatoes by choice?
Shut up.
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