Oscar hits and misses

by Tim Wick

First, let me tell you what I am most certainly NOT going to do. I'm not going to provide you with a list of winners. Lord knows you can find those in about fifty million different places. Try the Internet Movie Database if you need a quick reference. Instead, I thought I would talk about how I feel about who won, and my impressions of the telecast as a whole. Am I qualified to offer such observations? Most definitely not but that has failed to stop me before, so why should it stop me now? I will put all of this in nice, neat categories just like the academy does, only more interesting.

Worst Dressed

These are the Oscars and everyone cares about the fashions. I was watching the show with three costumers, so much was made about the dresses (and occasional tuxedos) worn by the winners, losers and presenters. By far the ugliest dress was a hideous purple number worn by Tyra Banks for the pre-show countdown. The "peppy" half hour pat-ourselves-on-the-back fest was not helped by constant shots of this nightmarish think that exploded from her waist in a way that no dress should. Ick. Runner up was Diane Keaton who simply looked awful. I think it was the John Lennon sunglasses, but it was hard to over look the corsage made of about five dozen roses either.

Best Acceptance Speech

Michael Caine whose entire speech consisted of praising the actors he had just beaten. My favorite point was when he asked Tom Cruise if the younger actor was aware how much Supporting Actors got paid. I did not believe he should have won - and in many ways still don't. But having won, he gave the best speech that I can remember in a long, long time.

Worst Musical moment

Watching Gloria Estefan and N Sync perform the forgettable nominated song from Music of the Heart. Clearly the song was not at all interesting before they performed it and they didn't help it one little bit. Runner up was a montage of Oscar winning songs that served to remind all of us (I'm mentioned this before) that the only people who are worse judges of music than the Academy are the people who vote for the Grammies. Oh, my! Did I say that out loud?

Best Joke by Billy Crystal

That is a tough one. Billy proved again why he is the perennial favorite to host the Oscars. He had fantastic one liners, did a wonderful opening number (as usual) and still managed to seem like he actually appreciated the ceremony he was hosting. Probably his best moment was an improvisational bit where he spoke what people in the audience were "thinking" as it was projected on the big Oscar screen. I missed what he said about Michael Clarke Duncan, but it got the biggest laugh from the rest of the people in the house. That gets my award for best joke even though I haven't the slightest clue what was said. Michael adds: it was "I see white People"

Worst Special Effects

During the above mentioned Best Song Montage, Isaac Hayes sang Shaft. They had a smoke machine in his piano and turned that baby up to "pea soup". By the end of the first verse, you couldn't even tell where Hayes was. By the end of the second verse, you were pretty sure that Satan was coming and everybody had better start running while they still could.

Best musical Moment

As anticipated, Robin Williams rendition of Blame Canada was a complete show stopper. Not only did he sing the f-word (fart) that censors had been trying to cut, but we got treated to the Rockettes dressed up as Mounties for the finale of the song. It was over the top in a way we expect from the Oscars, but not on that kind of song. Second best was Sarah MacLaughlin's soulful rendition of "When she loved me", but I might just be saying that because I love to hear her sing and would listen to "Happy Birthday" fifty times in a row if it was her. We all have our prejudices.

Worst choice made by the Academy

I think it's a tie here. Giving Topsy-Turvy Oscars for make-up and costuming with better examples of both in the running shows the average Academy voter can't vote for anything the slightest bit risky or different. Let me make it clear, I liked Topsy-Turvy quite a bit, but not for it's costumes and makeup. However, you can't ignore the Oscar to John Irving for his adaptation of The Cider House Rules screenplay. I know I sound like a broken record on this one, but that movie did not deserve a single nomination. It wasn't actually bad, but lord it wasn't good. Election and The Green Mile would have been better choices in that category.

Best choice made by the Academy

Giving four Oscars to The Matrix and shutting out Star Wars. I think the innovations in Star Wars were amazing, but they did nothing to advance the story. In fact, much of the time the special effects fought the story (the pod race is a good example). The special effects of The Matrix though not as "innovative" as those used in Star Wars were all used to propel the story to it's conclusion. An award for best visual and sound effects should be based on the integration into the movie, not how flashy it is. Slapping an Editing award on top of it proved what we geeks already knew - The Matrix was one of the tightest films in years.

Worst Prediction

That the show would be shorter this year. We clocked it at just over four hours. Billy Crystal's joke about trying to end the show before tomorrow wasn't quite so funny any more.

Best montage

The "History of the world in film" montage was actually quite good. Starting with Gertie the dinosaur and moving from ancient times into the future, it was a terrific collection of clips. The music that was used, including cuts from Jurassic Park and Glory was perfectly chosen. The whole effect created one of the most moving montages I have seen in a long time.

Worst directing choice

Another tie. The tiresome and overly long (15 minute) Best Songs of the past montage was boring and one of the biggest contributors to the fact the show went on forever. The other annoying choice was to have interminable zooms into the faces of the acting nominees before they showed a clip of their performance. It doubled the time that the presentation of these clips usually takes. When the clock is ticking past three hours, your viewers notice subtle stuff like that.

Best presentation speech

Much as I hate to say it, this one goes to Jack Nicholson for his introduction of Warren Beatty's receipt of the Irving Thalberg award.

Worst news for the rest of Hollywood

Dreamworks is here to stay. Sam Mendes winning the director trophy for American Beauty makes him the second Dreamworks director in so many years to take home the prize (last year, Spielberg himself took it for Saving Private Ryan). With the best picture win as well, the relatively new studio has shown it will be a powerhouse even if Spielberg doesn't direct every movie himself. Watching Steven beam over his winning Director and Producers made him look like a proud father. His "children" will very likely produce a lot more gold in the years to come.

And finally.....

Most telling shut-out

I have a big tie here. The Insider, The Green Mile and The Sixth Sense all failed to take home a prize despite best picture nods (I expected Sixth Sense would get the screenplay award as a consolation prize). Being John Malkovich was the most original comedy in years, but too over the top for academy voters. And finally, Star Wars: Episode 1 with a complete shut-out proves that if there is anything the Academy can't stand, it's a movie that makes money.

That's it for me. No more Oscar articles until next year. I promise. No really! Man, why don't you people ever believe me?

For another viewpoint on the Oscars, read Harry Knowles running commentary on Aint-it-cool-news