Miss Congeniality Review
by Tim Wick
Have you ever been to a restaurant that you were sure would at least be
decent and had it turn out to be something of a let down? I mean, it was a
type of food you love, the ingredients sound good and you aren't exactly
ordering anything exotic but somehow the food just lets you down.
If that restaurant was a script, it would be Miss Congeniality.
Stupid analogy? Maybe. But it's not like I get paid to write this stuff so
you will have to take what you can get.
I liked the trailer for this movie. I laughed at it a lot. I was even
pretty certain I had not seen the funniest moments in the movie (a typical
problem I have with comedy trailers). Despite the fact that the plot looked
contrived, it looked to have a good cast and how many comedy plot's aren't
contrived anyway?
The cast would be the ingredients in that stupid analogy I used above.
Sandra Bullock, Benjamin Bratt, Michael Caine, Candace Bergen and yes, even
William Shatner sound like some pretty appealing ingredients. I mean we are
talking borscht or mock duck or anything exotic like that, but that cast would
make a pretty hamburger or even a decent chicken fried steak (please note
that this review is why you should never write reviews before lunch).
Problem is, somebody's gotta cook that steak (no, I can't let this analogy
go). In this case, the cooks did not hail from France or other storied homes
of great cooks. These cooks came from England. Anyone who has eaten English
food knows what I'm talking about. How can you screw up something as simple
as a cheese sandwich? Go to England.
Miss Congeniality should be funny. The premise has potential. Tom boy FBI
agent Bullock has to become a contestant in a beauty pageant to stop some
crazy person from killing one of the contestants. Standard fish out of water
premise, but so what? You want an original comedy, find a way to travel back
to ancient Greece. They did it first, so you can say that it was original.
Throw in a gay beauty consultant (Caine), a Bert Parks like host (Shatner), a
grand dame organizer (Bergen) and an overconfident assistant (Bratt) and
you've got your standart commedia del arte players. OK, maybe not, but you
get my point.
Unfortunately, the script plods along unaware of how much potential it has.
Bullock is perfect for the part. She has that down home prettiness about her
that makes her believable as a tom boy and a pageant contestant. Shatner is
the perfect choice to be a host and it's a wonder he didn't get a role like
this sooner in his career. They all do a fine job with next to nothing.
The script is simply not creative enough to hold your attention. The film
revolves around a mystery that we can figure out in five seconds and even if
we couldn't, the culprit is revealed about thirty minutes too early. Every
time we are shown a touching moment, the strings swell because we aren't
smart enough to be touched on our own. Even the funny moments are played for
only half the laughs they could because the writers seem almost embarrassed
to be writing comedy.
Spoilers ahead!!!
A few things that would have made this film work better:
Bullock should have enlisted some of the contestants to help her. This would
have fed more into the concept that these girls are more than just a pretty
face.
A homophobic sub-plot between Bratt and Caine was not really developed (yeah,
it is a Three's Company kind of sub plot, but it would have worked).
Shatner was not allowed to take his character far enough. For better or
worse, he hams it up better than anyone and you should take advantage of that
skill.
Some moments work well. Bullocks' "talent" is a stroke of genius. But the
tragic flaw is that much to my chagrin, the funniest moments in the movie
were in the trailer.
Does Miss Congeniality suck? No, it doesn't. The actors all do well, but
are forced to work with a screenplay that just isn't up to their skills.
Miss Congeniality is a Burger King hamburger (yes, the analogy is back)
when I wanted one from Fuddruckers. They are both hamburgers - there's no
getting around that - but one is certainly superior to the other.
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