Butt-numb-a-thon Report
by Tim Wick
I tried to explain to my coworkers what I was going to do this weekend. They
just didn't understand. I mean how do you make sense when you are telling
someone you are flying to Austin, TX in order to see a 24 hour movie marathon?
Simple answer: don't bother. Just have a good time.
Harry Knowles, guest of honor at CONvergence 1999 and the upcoming CONvergence 2001,
is something of a film geek (check out ain't-it-cool-news if you haven't
already). Every year around the beginning of December, he has a birthday.
To celebrate, he throws a party for about 250 people at the Alamo Drafthouse
in Austin and shows a bunch of movies.
Last year, Windy Merrill struck out to Austin on her own, forcing her friends
to stay home and endure a full year of bragging about the fact that she had
seen Magnolia and Pitch Black before we had. This year that was not
going to happen. Nine of us made our way down south this year.
The trip began with a major disappointment. The day before we left, we
learned that Harry was doing a special screening of the Cohen brothers' O
Brother Where Art Thou on Friday morning at 10:00. Since our flight
departed at 2:45, we were going to miss it. Harry also had a showing of
Traffic scheduled for 10:00 AM Monday. Of course our plane departed at
7:30 AM. Bummer.
We were expected to be in town for a Friday evening trip to Dungeons and
Dragons but that never happened. Not that I'm going to complain about that
and let me tell you why...
Harry has made some pretty cool connections to folks in Hollywood over the
years and some of those people decided to attend the Butt-numb-a-thon. One
of the people who came out and had dinner with us on Friday was Tom DeSanto.
Never heard of him? He co-executive produced and co-wrote X-Men. He is
also a big Star Trek geek and comic book fan.
So instead of going to see a movie that was probably very lame, I got to
listen to a guy tell stories about hanging out with Ian McKellan and Patrick
Stewart. No contest.
Now the best thing to do before spending 24 hours watching movies is to get
some sleep. Talking with Tom until after midnight might not have been the
best way to ensure this came about. Still, we made our way back to the
Austin Motel for a little bit of needed rest.
The next morning, we made sure we were at the theatre early. I'm not
completely certain why. The seats were assigned seats so there was hardly a
problem (well, there was a problem, but I'll get to that later). I guess we
just wanted to be a part of the crowd as soon as there was one.
Jay and Harry were already there when we showed up at 10:30 (the
Butt-numb-a-thon started at noon) so we spent a lot of time talking with Jay
(Father Geek) until we were let in. We endured more disappointments as Jay
told us of movies that we WEREN'T going to see (the schedule is a secret, so
we had spent considerable time speculating on the premieres we might see). I
nearly cried when I was told that they had been offered Crouching Tiger,
Hidden Dragon and turned it down. I almost had to slice my wrists when I
learned that Sony was offering to bring in Chow Yun Fat or Michelle Yeoh to
meet the fans. Harry and Jay felt that bringing in one of the two stars
would have made it impossible to continue for two hours and they were right.
I still think a moment of silence is needed for what could have been.
Long enough. At 11:30 the theatre opened and we got our goodie bags. The
goodie bags had some cool movie freebies (although I'm pretty sure I don't
need the Little Nicky soundtrack) and Penguin caffeinated peppermints.
These were very important. We were informed that anyone who fell asleep
would be assaulted with a hand held bug zapper. Staying awake became more
than a goal, it was a requirement.
We had a crisis early on because I was actually holding a ticket for a seat
that did not exist. I've gotta give a big thanks to Tim, owner of the Alamo
Drafthouse, for finding me a comfortable chair to spend the rest of the
evening in.
Now before I talk about the movies, let's talk about the Alamo Drafthouse
itself. What a theatre! Now we are not talking about a Showplace 16 with
stadium seating and free popcorn. The screen isn't that big and the seats
aren't quite that nice. On the other hand, the place has really good food
and counters in front of every seat. It also has a lot of character. They
can show video, 16mm and 35mm prints which means you can show just about
anything you want to -- and Harry did. My only criticism was that they
didn't have standard theatre fare (most specifically Milk Duds) and they have
freaky faucets in their restrooms. Next year I will bring moist towelettes
and Milk Duds and I'll be fine.
Then the movies started. I'll write my reviews of the debuts in longer form
later but for this article, I'll just give general impressions.
We opened with an animated short entitled My Blue McWeenie. It was sick
and wrong and wickedly funny. I can't really say anything more about it.
Then we were treated to the debut of Destination Mars. For a movie geek,
this was a special treat. Destination Mars was filmed in the 1950's, but
then it was confiscated by the FBI before it was ever screened (a result of
an investigation of its director by Eugene McCarthy). Within the last few
years, a couple of people were able to get the movie released from the FBI
vaults and have been restoring it. We were the first audience to see a print
of this film. Now I'm not going to say it was the greatest film I've ever
seen. It was a 50's B sci-fi flick. But what a treat to be the first people
to see this in 50 years! It looks like the Sci-Fi channel is going to pick
this one up. Keep your eyes open. Harry brought in the guys who restored
the film for a little Q & A after the showing. We talked to them and hope to
have a video copy of the film for CONvergence. Keep your fingers crossed.
Next we watched the 1970's Rankin & Bass animated version of The Hobbit.
I'm not nuts about this particular movie. Not only did we just see it for
book/movie club, but it has the most annoying 70's folk music theme that they
just keep singing OVER AND OVER AGAIN until it's stuck in your head and you
want to kill someone. Fortunately it's also short. Crap. I'm thinking
about that damn song. The Greatest adventure.....ARRRRRRGH!!!!
Before the next film we got to see a very clever computer animated short
called Infection. Take a look at Harry's site over the next few weeks. I
expect he may provide a link to where you can download this short. I really
enjoyed it.
Then things got serious. Our first true premiere was the upcoming release
from Sam Raimi - The Gift. Wow. This movie gets my vote for the creepiest
movie of the marathon. It wasn't creepy in a serial killer kind of way (we
got that later). It was creepy in the way that you always felt that you were
on the verge of having something terrible happen. Cate Blanchette was great
in this film as was - no I'm not kidding - Keanu Reeves as a violent wife
beating redneck who just might be enough of a creep to kill. (Complete Review).
Harry followed that up with two old classics on 16mm. Edward G. Robinson
starred in Michael Curtiz's The Sea Wolf, which is really a great example
of what was good about the movies of the 40's and 50's. This film is a
really powerful character driven piece. The four main characters a
psychologically complex and diverse. Placing them together on a ship you can
tell is doomed just because of it's name (The Ghost) creates a claustrophobic
environment that you know will lead to disaster. Seeing it on the big screen
was a special treat.
As was the next movie, Busby Berkley's Wonderbar. I didn't enjoy this one
as much - partially because Berkley seemed to be incapable of doing a dance
number shorter than 20 minutes and they get boring after about 10 minutes. Most interesting was the final number starring Al Jolsen in his traditional
black face. It was offensive and somewhat disturbing to watch, but I'm glad
I saw it. Any video copies of this film seriously edit this section of the
film. Though I can understand from one perspective, I think it's important
to view these films in their entirety and keep in mind the historical
context. Yes, the concept of minstrel shows is offensive and wrong - I don't
deny that. Can we learn from them? Absolutely.
We had reached the ever important halfway mark and we needed a kick-a** movie
to take us through the midnight hour (as if I could tell what time it was).
That was provided in what I think may have been the strongest film we saw all
night - Guy Richie's Snatch. Richie (who many only know as the father of
Madonna's latest baby) did a great crime dramedy a couple years ago called
Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. Snatch is in a similar vein and
just a terrific film. Funny and violent, it is really an English Pulp
Fiction style film. The movie should get to Minnesota mid January. The
bonus was getting to meet Ade (yeah, that's his whole name) who played Tyrone
in the film. Harry just flew him in to sign posters. That was just the
coolest. (Complete review!).
What do you get to follow up that powerful movie? Sadly, a piece of crap
called Beneath the Valley of the Super Vixens. Yes, it was an X rated
flick. Now I'm not making any judgments about the material. The film was
just bad. I mean it was boring bad, not funny bad. I was sitting next to
Chris Jones and I don't know how many times we looked at each other and asked
"It's not over yet????" Ugh. The advantage to going to a film festival
programmed by Harry Knowles is that he has eclectic tastes. This is also the
disadvantage of going to a film festival programmed by Harry Knowles.
In fairness to Harry, we did learn that BTVOTSV was a last minute
replacement. But it still stunk.
What we saw next was probably the most special but I can't tell you what it
was because we aren't actually allowed to see it. All I can say is that I'm
a little upset with a studio whose initials aren't ABC, NBC, CBS, or UPN.
That's all I have to say. If you think I'm going to return to the subject,
you are not playing with a full deck.
We were really into the wee hours by now, so the time had come to kick it up
a notch. Robocop was a good choice to do so. Being one of the two films
in the festival I'd seen before, I spent a fair amount of time stretching my
legs in the lobby and just keeping myself awake. I was dipping pretty deep
into those penguins by now.
Red Scream was next. This was a disappointing little computer animated
short that was seemingly surreal just for the sake of being surreal. I'm not
sure what the point was. There were eyestalks and metronomes and a weird
Samurai thing. Whatever. And speaking of Samurai things...
What we really needed around nine AM was something that would help us stay
awake. Shogun Assassin did not provide that. I was closest to sleeping
during this Japanese snoozer about a samurai who walks across the land with
his son in a baby carriage and gets into fights. The narrative was pretty
tedious and the dubbing (god I hate dubbing) was really pretty bad. I kept
nodding off and waking up to the same sight of the samurai walking along with
his son in a baby carriage. Then he would get into a fight and people would
spurt orange blood. It seemed like a lot was hacked from the movie for the
US release, but I'm not going to go out of my way to find a better copy.
One more short before the show was over. We watched a little gem called
Santa Claus' Story. Shot in the late 40's, this strange newsreel/christmas
story had Santa proving he was real by describing how monkey's celebrate
Christmas. Especially funny because the people who made it were desperately
serious, I loved it. Oh, and for the record the "monkeys" they showed were
chimpanzees - which are technically apes. I'll get off my smart a** box now.
 Unfortunately, the next movie would be the last one - and the final premiere.
The last movie we saw was Ed Gein. The film itself was not the best. The
narrative was choppy and there were several scenes that really didn't add
much or were just plain confusing. However, the performance Steve Railsback
as Ed Gein was amazing. I was fortunate in that I was able to tell Steve
that myself, because Harry flew him in. Look for this movie just to see
Steve's performance. Steve told me it will not be released in time for the
Oscars this year which means the release date will probably put him out of
Oscar contention. I think that is a huge shame. [Complete Review]
That was it. Festival over. Time to go back to the hotel and get some
sleep. But there WAS one more treat for us. Dinner sunday night was at Long
John Silver's. Oh, how I love Long John Silver's. It's sick, really. The
joy of devouring my fried chicken with malt vinegar more than made up for
learning the Vikings had choked.
Will I go back next year? I hope so, but the tickets will be even harder to
get. I'm sure as hell going to try.
Flying to Austin to see a 24 hour movie marathon? Damn straight.
MISFITS Board Member Jeremy Stomberg sent his report to aint-it-cool.
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